My House in the Snow [draft]

You’re my flower in the snow but you can’t see it. See the way I see things. I see more than starry eyes, more than flowery smiles. Beautiful when the moon hit your skin. I had no one until I saw a flower bloomed in the snow. I cared for it. Freezing cold, yet I still try. Try to keep it warm. Too cold, she’ll crack and break. The moment I saw it, I knew I had to Eternally keep her warm but Im running out of time, out of breaths. Soon, the snow is getting to me, so is it to her. She’s slowly cracking. Unable to do anything, my tears fell through the cracks. The cold froze my tears which mended her wound. But she’s keeping on tearing apart, she keeps on breaking, keep on dying. Tears fall, again and again. Mending one flaw after another. I don’t want to leave, if I leave she dies and If I take her our of the snow, the tears will melt and she will fall apart. But its worth it, seeing the sun on her skin everyday. i dont want her to fade away and or become colourless amongst the snow so I stayed. Even if I have to fade away in her place, I’d never leave. As long as she doesn’t have to. Her thorns cut me but Ive bled before. But no matter what I did, her colour faded still. Tears fell again, crimsoned. Gave it a new shine. My crimsoned tears gave her an Eternal shine, unaffected by the snow. As she’s getting better, I am not. The snow had the best of me. I faded became one with white barren. I became the snow never leaving her side. I truly did died for her, her smile was worth my life

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Gustav Ahr’s The Way I See Things

“I got a feeling that I’m not gonna be here for next year, so lets laugh a little before I’m gone.”
“I’ve been dreaming of this shit for awhile now”
“Got me high now”
“She don’t love me but she’s reading my poems”
“Oh no, I don’t feel much pain. Got a knife in my back and a bullet in my brain”
“I’m clinically insane, walking home alone I see faces in the rain”
“Where did all the time go? Spend it getting high while I hide from the 5-0”
“She don’t fuck with me no more, but I’m on her mind though”
It’s just the way I be
It’s just the way I see things

Enchanted Castle

Auvi,

Why did you do this to me?

Have you heard of the story about the enchanted castle? The one that made our ember called love a burning bright flame and our feeligs come to life.

I’ve never been this sure, even just in a week of knowing you. Now you want to leave me?

I’ve walked miles and miles just to see you, wether you’re fine or not, knowing your problems to show my love to you.

I walked through numerous buildings, took numerous public transports but instead of these efforts, ruins are all that’s left

This castle is in ruin and I’m devastated, sad fucking sad.

Just hoping that the magic will return back! Because I have nothing left and the castle is my home.

I’ll lose you, the one I called my home, my castle.

Love, Rosie

My suicide note

Five years, the same spot under the same tree, counting to midnight alone, again.

Five years, the same song on repeat, the same moon, the same stars, but never the same me, again

Five years, have I killed myself to the moon, stars, and smile that I adore, again

Five years, nothing but a living corpse shedding my vows through my tears, again

“Sometimes I doubt the path I chose, and my dreams feel all on hold. There’s no doubt that this will make me strong because its the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Despite this cruel world and all my best efforts, you surprise with just how perfect you are. Even with all my flaws and my bad examples, you surprise me with just how perfect you are

And when I’m lost, you search for me. And when I doubt, you’re my belief. I am supposed to be the stronger one but you always seem to prove my theory wrong

When Im all in a spin, full of cynicism you surprise me with just how perfect you are When I’m at my wits end and I’m losing my head, you remind me of just how lucky I am

Still I hold my breath each time you go but in a world that’s beyond my control, if you are dreaming I’d never want to wake you up”

Five years have past and I still wish for death as my gift, again.

25thdec17