Too cold for you here

Times like this; when my fever is up, body aches and eyes burn. I just want to close my eyes and have someone to hold on to: through the pain

And the colder I get, the more I realize there is no turning back
And the further I stray, the more will I be Him


Letters that can never be sent because of another love

On the hood of scarlet car, his bright eyes shine under the blue moon, and in his hand a peice of parchment and a quill that’s trying to word out his guilt. As the night clouds began to ingulf the moon,  he jot down the thoughts of  his heart. 

 Kesayangan, ​I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care but it’s so cold and I don’t know where. I brought you daffodils in a pretty string but they won’t flower like they did last spring. 

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright. I’m just so tired to share my nights

I wanna cry and I wanna love but all my tears have been used up on another love, another love

It started to fall, not the rain, his tears. He wished for her warm embrace, but every time he closes his eyes. He sees another love. Setting them apart, and him in peices. Mustering his spirits he wrote. 

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight but my hands been broken, once too many times. So I’ll use my voice, I’ll be so fucking rude. Words they always win, but I know I’ll lose

And I’d sing a song, that’d be just ours but I sang ’em all to another heart. And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love but all my tears have been used up. 

On another love

As his tears dried. He long to cry more. The capacity to feel more. To show more. To feel more. It started to rain, as if the sky was sympathetic towards him and his lack of heart. As he crumbles the parchment he whispered to his heart. 

“All my love have been used up”

This is twice now 

The heavy snow of the depressing night rage on. overtaking everything in my way. I just hope that I could make it on time. I walked through the front door and searched for any sign of him. I found him weeping in the cold shower

“Baby just ask once more, because I saw your door wide open. The floor is still freezing. Would you come with me and fix this together? ”

” I was sick and still quite unwell. Tell me its you or nothing at all. I stole your soul because you said I’d never be able. But the whole world is on my string. Im just a burden to you. Leave me alone “

He pushed  me away. Oh how I wished for me to fix him, and how could’ve been happy together. But he knew, none can fix him anymore. He’s too far gone. I’ve decided to keep him company for that night. 

The next morning, I woke up with sound of the car sprinting away. And a letter was next of me. 

“Its second time now and you’ve done this before, drive around the back so I cant see that youre freezing but youre still freezing arent you? ” I murmured alone 

Last letter

Let me take your coat your keys and this car because I’ve been unwell for far too long now. Ive stole your soul and you felt the obligation to change me. Dont. Ill be alright from now on. Dont try to find me. But all the whole world is still on my string,  and now my string wont tie you down anymore. 

To my kesayangan,


I hope so too, but you stole my soul. And this body longs for its soul. You may think that youre burdening me, but the absent of you is my agony.