Five years, the same spot under the same tree, counting to midnight alone, again.
Five years, the same song on repeat, the same moon, the same stars, but never the same me, again
Five years, have I killed myself to the moon, stars, and smile that I adore, again
Five years, nothing but a living corpse shedding my vows through my tears, again
“Sometimes I doubt the path I chose, and my dreams feel all on hold. There’s no doubt that this will make me strong because its the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Despite this cruel world and all my best efforts, you surprise with just how perfect you are. Even with all my flaws and my bad examples, you surprise me with just how perfect you are
And when I’m lost, you search for me. And when I doubt, you’re my belief. I am supposed to be the stronger one but you always seem to prove my theory wrong
When Im all in a spin, full of cynicism you surprise me with just how perfect you are When I’m at my wits end and I’m losing my head, you remind me of just how lucky I am
Still I hold my breath each time you go but in a world that’s beyond my control, if you are dreaming I’d never want to wake you up”
Five years have past and I still wish for death as my gift, again.
25thdec17